Umm…Hi. It has been awhile. 2020 has been a year. A year where I kind of lost myself. But I am back. Thank you for being here. Thank you for following my journey.
I titled this blog post “The Year We Will Never Forget” because I feel in many years time, we will still know what it felt like in the year 2020. It has been a whirlwind being on the frontlines let me tell you.
So just to get everyone up to speed, A LOT has happened since my last post. Let me do a list as I feel it would be easier!
Graduated from Ross University medical school
Was valedictorian at graduation (~800 graduates in attendance!)
MATCHED (!!) at my #1 residency program at Emory University in Atlanta, GA
Currently a PGY-2 family medicine resident physician (2nd year)
Looking at applying for a sports medicine fellowship
Whew…yeah…it’s been a busy 1.5 years since I last wrote. I honestly felt like I was in survival mode the whole time, working 80+ hour weeks, trying to keep my head above water. Not going to lie, I questioned on a lot of the days if I made the right decision. So many of my friends have bought houses in this time period, on their second child now, and have settled into their careers pretty nicely. But here I am, who can’t even make dinner most days for my husband due to sheer exhaustion. It was a tough year, and thankfully getting through first year of residency training, I can breathe a bit in second year. The hours a more manageable, we still have 24 hour call shifts (that I don’t agree with), but thankfully only six throughout the entire year, some night shift weeks, but overall, the 8-5 hours are incredibly nice.
What I have realized though is that even though I feel like I am still working towards this goal of becoming a board certified sports medicine doctor, I have come so far. I remember my time in the MERP program in North York, Ontario, Canada in December 2014 and taking the Leslie Street 51 bus to class, with Stephen also dropping me off the majority of the time. I remember first getting the the island of Dominica, my first exam in the testing center, I still remember the smell of the ocean, the sand, and The Champs amazing pizzas. I have come SO INCREDIBLY FAR, and when times get extremely stressful, I have to remind myself of this.
Becoming a doctor is such delayed gratification. You work your ass off for years, accumulate a lot of debt, put your life on hold, so you can help the lives of others. And add a global pandemic in there, it has been tough. I remember being the in ICU at Grady (a tough hospital with complex and very sick patients) when Covid hit Atlanta back in March, this time was the hardest time in my life. Holding a phone above a patient so his family could say goodbye to him as no visits were allowed in the hospital, doing chest compressions on a young female patient, 28 hour call shifts every 4 days, admissions after admissions, too many for a family medicine intern to handle…and I cried. I cried sitting on my couch not wanting to go in for another shift.
It’s been hard, guys. I am sorry this post has a “poor me” feel to it, but I honestly do not want any pity. I chose this path, I knew what I signed up for. I knew that it would be hard. But I want all of you to know that this journey can be taxing. I am so incredibly thankful for Stephen who has been the best husband, my family for believing in me every step of the way, and my friends who understand that we go months without talking due to my schedule.
I know I stated “I lost myself” at the beginning of this post, and what I mean is that I stopped doing a lot of the things that make me happy. Stopped writing blog posts, which truly is an outlet for me. Stopped playing basketball, stopped working out, stopped doing YouTube videos, I kind of just became a shell of myself, going through the motions every day just trying to make it until my next day off. But that stops now. Regular blog posting will be coming, still not sure how often, but I will get back to myself.
If you have made it this far in the post, thank you, and if you you would like to see more posts and what you would like me to elaborate on, please leave a comment below!
Bye for now,
- E xo
“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
– Walt Disney”
