Thursday, October 22, 2015
My followers! I hope you are all still there! It has been almost exactly one month since I have written and boy how that month has flown.
So. Semester 2. Typically termed "the easier semester" out of the four on the island, but honestly...I don't think any semester is easy in med school. Yes, in semester 2 you have "more time" as you do not have that anatomy lab session in the afternoons, but I have studied more this semester than I have last semester by far, as physiology does not come naturally to me. I have to make sure I understand it conceptually before I can start applying my knowledge to questions, and that seems to take awhile. We have had two exams so far and what is different about this semester is that we actually have a clinical practical exam at the end of the semester. Yikes! This is where we get tested on our physical exam skills and simulation techniques, wish me luck! I will make sure to blog about it so don't worry.
I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for being patient with me. I know it has been four weeks since I have last written, and to be honest, this is the first time I am sitting in front of my computer where I do not have mediasite up, my lecture notes, google images, or anything else related to school. It sure has been a whirlwind. This semester has been tough, but one that I am just getting excited for as today we start our neurology block. It is about four weeks of material and really interesting to me, so let's hope it's smooth sailing from here!
A lot has happened since I last wrote, like my tablet completely dying (yay), to having one of my good friends in third semester lend me his old one (so nice), to being emailed about attending the Dean's List Honor Roll Ceremony on November 6th, to losing both my doubles tennis matches in intramurals (ok..one we had to forfeit because I pulled my back), and that tutoring is going amazing. I actually love being a tutor, and I make sure I put enough effort into it where it does not interfere with my schedule. Domi (our little pup) is doing awesome, and she officially gets spayed tomorrow and I am REALLY not looking forward to it. She gets picked up tomorrow, driven on the back on a truck in a tiny cage, has the surgery, stays over night and is returned to us Sat morning. Not looking forward to it, but it is better than having her in heat down here as there are a lot of stray male dogs...that would not be a good situation. Now that I have updated you a little bit, let me get real for a second:
Medical school is hard. A different kind of hard though. I think it is more the fear of not doing well, failing, messing up an exam, or the fear that you are not supposed to be here. I fought internally with the last one for the past couple weeks, and to be honest, I am happy I did. I think if we go through the motions throughout the day and we don't even look up from our pages of life that life will literally pass us by. I had a fear that I am doing all this intense work and that life will not work out for me. You hear of horror stories of students doing well at Ross and then not passing Step 1...the board exam of hell. To be honest, I really psyched myself out. I thought..."Omg..I could be doing all this work and after two years I would have accumulated all this debt and not even be close in being a physician." I believed the stories and I got scared. But then I realized...there are numerous physicians in this world that were always scared of something throughout their education. Then I realized further that almost every person in their lifetime has been scared of something, and that this is okay. It is okay because if it didn't mean a lot to you...then you wouldn't care as much, and I understand that wholeheartedly now. I know that if I didn't care about my exam yesterday or passing Step 1 that I am here for the wrong reasons. If I didn't care in making that Dean's List or being a tutor or getting a high pass on exams, that I am striving to JUST get by...and trust me...I never want to be a student that just gets by. Life is not about going through the motions, it is making sure you are scared a little bit. Waking up and doing something that challenges you, talking to a friend that you should have two weeks ago but are held back by trepidation, knowing you are in a profession that you are HAPPY with, in which sometimes you may not feel that you are. IT IS OKAY. Being scared let's you know that you are doing something that may not necessarily be easy, and one that someone will look at you and be like "wow, you did that?"...that is overcoming fear..and that is awesome.
Alright guys, thanks so much for reading and allowing me to vent/getting all philosophical on you. I just felt that I needed to express how I feel throughout different parts of my medical school journey, as it is all not high passes and swimming in the ocean, it is a grind, but one that is definitely worth it.
Off to learn about neuroscience!
Bye for now,